1. He stole from the official Magadha treasury to finance his exploits. How can he talk about corruption in Magadha
2. He used Alexander, the Great to destroy the power of the smaller kings so that Chandragupta could be the unchallenged emperor of Bharat. How can we trust someone like him to protect us from foreign powers
3. He used funds raised from businessmen to finance the education of his protégé Chrandragupta in Taxila. The businessmen did not know to what end their funds were being used. And he talks about money being siphoned away for personal purpose. Ha!
4. He used “Poison-girls” or “Vish Kanyas” to kill enemies including the illustrious Paurus. What the hell. Ethics anyone?
5. He used concubines to lay sex traps for politicians and blackmailed them. Talks about renunciation and celibacy. Bloody Hypocrite
6. Chandragupta seduced Cornelia, the daughter of Seleucus (Vassal of Alexander the Great) to further several aims including inciting the revolt of the tribesmen of Afghanistan against Seleucus. How can one play with someone’s feelings?
7. His expenditures are obscure and he has lot of fictitious accounts. He’s supposedly poor but travels in caravans with dozens of escorts. Must be investigated.
8. How can an ascetic get involved in politics? He should stick to what he does and knows best
9. He’s avenging the death of his father and has a personal agenda. Love of the country is but a façade. Don’t fall for this charlatan guys.
10. Why only Magadha? Can’t he see the corruption and decadence of other kingdoms like Kalinga, Kaikeyi, Gandhar? Why doesn’t he fight for the citizens there?
11. He’s a good man but his lieutenants are greedy power mongers. He should stay away from them
12. Chandragupta issued a statement supporting the right of Kalinga for self-determination. Down with his head! Team Chanakya wants to partition Magadha.
13. As a child he took a loan of 5 bronze shillings to pay for his father’s cremation. He paid back the loan after a year but without interest which now amounts to 100 silver shillings. He must pay that back!
14. I have credible information he’s a face for the extremist Brahmans and has their support. In fact I have a letter to prove the same
15. This Brahman will wipe out the Shudras who’ve borne the brunt of Brahman domination for centuries. He should install a Shudra king to show he’s clean
Does that ring a bell somewhere?
Monday, October 24, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
21st century India, 19th century governance
Few days back an incident on a train jolted my “air-conditioned” consciousness back to reality. I had booked a ticket from Jhansi to New Delhi on the Bangalore Rajdhani express. The train was to arrive around midnight in Jhansi. I had not bothered taking a print-out of the ticket as the large banner on the IRCTC website exhorted us to carry the e-ticket on laptop or mobile rather than waste precious paper, ironical given the paperwork the government is famous for. As the train arrived on the station, I realized that I did not remember my ticket berth and deciding to check my berth through the railways IVRS but I boarded the train nevertheless. Soon a TTE came up and asked me to show my ticket. As luck would have it, the IVRS system was not working. I called up my brother and asked him to tell my berth from the IRCTC website and found that in the confusion of the midnight train, I had messed up my dates and had booked for the train journey a day before.
So I was now a ticketless traveller and the nightmare began. The TTE initially appeared to empathize with my plight and said this happens quite often. However I have to pay the full penalty which after some show of calculation he announced as Rs. 4150. I said that I did not have the money. He was joined by the Train Superintendent who asked how can they make a bill without the money. I felt the blood rise to my ears. “Of course dude when I don’t have the money and the train does not stop anywhere between Jhansi and Delhi It’s you rather than I who will suggest a solution short of throwing me out of the running train” I thought. Anyway I kept silent and waited for them to suggest something. They asked me if I can get money in New Delhi, I replied in the affirmative. They asked me to write a letter addressed to the train superintendent which made me apologize for travelling in the premier train (funny to see the egos of these guys just because it’s a Rajdhani. Wonder what they’ll do when the bullet train comes somewhere around 2030) as a ticketless traveller and promise to pay the fine on embarking in New Delhi Station.
As I set down to write the letter muttering to myself that I’m not going to ask these people to “ le-de ke mamla khatam karo” influenced as I was by the Anna movement, I was surprised at the fine amount since the ticket costs around 700 and they were talking almost 6 times the amount. I asked the same and they told in a Rajdhani it’s a rule to take the amount of the full train journey regardless of where you board. Now all this “It’s a Rajdhani!” I knew was total hogwash as I was somewhat acquainted with the procedure of ticketless travel and hence asked them to show me the rule where it was written. This triggered off stage 2 of the nightmare.
Slighted as they were by my refusal to pay a bribe and to lick up their ego, they unleashed a tirade of threats. They began taunting me that you are showing yourself as very educated and talk about rules, we’ll show you what the rules are. The train superintendent came with a 19th century walkie-talkie and said if I put in a word, the train will stop right here and you’ll be left in the jungle. He said I can call up the railway police and tell them that this guy has boarded from somewhere in the middle and is a security threat. You will have to make several rounds to the magistrate and pay many more fines just for turning up besides spending 6 months in jail for ticketless travel. Your career will be put on the line because a FIR will be registered against you. They even threatened to put false charges of me having assaulted the TTE and put in custody immediately. There were some pantry car workers there and they said we’ll be witnesses to the same.
This was about the substance of their diatribe, the less said about the form the better it is. Now when I look back at it, most of it was empty threat but at the spur of the moment a guy looks to err on the side of the caution. I told them that Rs 1000 was all I had and if that’s fine with you then take it otherwise you can do whatever you want. They said 1000 is not enough and I’ve to pay the full amount right now otherwise face the music. Ultimately I sat down and waited for their tongue-lashing to finish. After about an hour, they called me up and in an extraordinary act of generosity laced with a holier-than-thou attitude let me off for Rs 500 only. They concluded their ego-opera by giving sermons about how as a young man I should respect elders and officials and keep this lesson in mind all my life.
So here I was, another Aam-Aadmi who made a genuine mistake and tried to rectify it honestly but was brow-beaten to meekness and made to accept the over lordship of the government official. It reminded me of the scene in Matrix Revolutions where Neo tries to fight the trainman in the station and is knocked down by the latter who asserts “You don’t realize! I’m the Trainman and over here I’m God”. All those who say to eliminate corruption we must stop paying bribes, do you realize the trouble is much greater if you decide not to pay bribe. Try saying to a policeman who has caught you for parking violation and is demanding a bribe that you are ready to pay the challan and see how the next one hour becomes a complete hell. Should we keep fighting like this each and every time a petty officer decides to overstep his mandate
The problem lies in the way the system has been designed to grant over-reaching powers to the petty government functionary. It gives incredible discretionary powers to those who do not even know how to do their job properly and puts the common man (one without a lal batti, politico or their acolytes) totally at their mercy. This is nothing but a vestige of the colonial system something which team Anna Hazare is trying to battle through the Lokpal which will give a grievance redressal system to us (I would surely have complained to the Lokpal had it existed no matter if any action was taken). It creates a psychological pressure on the functionaries to do their duty properly even if action is taken on one of them. Indians by nature are a fearful and law abiding lot and no matter whatever the odds of them being punished, they won’t take the risk. Problem is right now the odds are absolutely zero (or somewhere nearby). It is also the reason why most of those who oppose the Lokpal are either those whose cash flow will be impacted by it (politicos, bureaucrats) or those who haven’t had an interface with the government empowered by its myriad rules and its veil of secrecy. All those who say ‘Aal is well’ with the current governance system should have at least one such encounter with the government and it is sure to change their positions as surely as Narayan Murthy’s mind was changed about socialism when he was arrested for frivolous reasons in Bulgaria.
So I was now a ticketless traveller and the nightmare began. The TTE initially appeared to empathize with my plight and said this happens quite often. However I have to pay the full penalty which after some show of calculation he announced as Rs. 4150. I said that I did not have the money. He was joined by the Train Superintendent who asked how can they make a bill without the money. I felt the blood rise to my ears. “Of course dude when I don’t have the money and the train does not stop anywhere between Jhansi and Delhi It’s you rather than I who will suggest a solution short of throwing me out of the running train” I thought. Anyway I kept silent and waited for them to suggest something. They asked me if I can get money in New Delhi, I replied in the affirmative. They asked me to write a letter addressed to the train superintendent which made me apologize for travelling in the premier train (funny to see the egos of these guys just because it’s a Rajdhani. Wonder what they’ll do when the bullet train comes somewhere around 2030) as a ticketless traveller and promise to pay the fine on embarking in New Delhi Station.
As I set down to write the letter muttering to myself that I’m not going to ask these people to “ le-de ke mamla khatam karo” influenced as I was by the Anna movement, I was surprised at the fine amount since the ticket costs around 700 and they were talking almost 6 times the amount. I asked the same and they told in a Rajdhani it’s a rule to take the amount of the full train journey regardless of where you board. Now all this “It’s a Rajdhani!” I knew was total hogwash as I was somewhat acquainted with the procedure of ticketless travel and hence asked them to show me the rule where it was written. This triggered off stage 2 of the nightmare.
Slighted as they were by my refusal to pay a bribe and to lick up their ego, they unleashed a tirade of threats. They began taunting me that you are showing yourself as very educated and talk about rules, we’ll show you what the rules are. The train superintendent came with a 19th century walkie-talkie and said if I put in a word, the train will stop right here and you’ll be left in the jungle. He said I can call up the railway police and tell them that this guy has boarded from somewhere in the middle and is a security threat. You will have to make several rounds to the magistrate and pay many more fines just for turning up besides spending 6 months in jail for ticketless travel. Your career will be put on the line because a FIR will be registered against you. They even threatened to put false charges of me having assaulted the TTE and put in custody immediately. There were some pantry car workers there and they said we’ll be witnesses to the same.
This was about the substance of their diatribe, the less said about the form the better it is. Now when I look back at it, most of it was empty threat but at the spur of the moment a guy looks to err on the side of the caution. I told them that Rs 1000 was all I had and if that’s fine with you then take it otherwise you can do whatever you want. They said 1000 is not enough and I’ve to pay the full amount right now otherwise face the music. Ultimately I sat down and waited for their tongue-lashing to finish. After about an hour, they called me up and in an extraordinary act of generosity laced with a holier-than-thou attitude let me off for Rs 500 only. They concluded their ego-opera by giving sermons about how as a young man I should respect elders and officials and keep this lesson in mind all my life.
So here I was, another Aam-Aadmi who made a genuine mistake and tried to rectify it honestly but was brow-beaten to meekness and made to accept the over lordship of the government official. It reminded me of the scene in Matrix Revolutions where Neo tries to fight the trainman in the station and is knocked down by the latter who asserts “You don’t realize! I’m the Trainman and over here I’m God”. All those who say to eliminate corruption we must stop paying bribes, do you realize the trouble is much greater if you decide not to pay bribe. Try saying to a policeman who has caught you for parking violation and is demanding a bribe that you are ready to pay the challan and see how the next one hour becomes a complete hell. Should we keep fighting like this each and every time a petty officer decides to overstep his mandate
The problem lies in the way the system has been designed to grant over-reaching powers to the petty government functionary. It gives incredible discretionary powers to those who do not even know how to do their job properly and puts the common man (one without a lal batti, politico or their acolytes) totally at their mercy. This is nothing but a vestige of the colonial system something which team Anna Hazare is trying to battle through the Lokpal which will give a grievance redressal system to us (I would surely have complained to the Lokpal had it existed no matter if any action was taken). It creates a psychological pressure on the functionaries to do their duty properly even if action is taken on one of them. Indians by nature are a fearful and law abiding lot and no matter whatever the odds of them being punished, they won’t take the risk. Problem is right now the odds are absolutely zero (or somewhere nearby). It is also the reason why most of those who oppose the Lokpal are either those whose cash flow will be impacted by it (politicos, bureaucrats) or those who haven’t had an interface with the government empowered by its myriad rules and its veil of secrecy. All those who say ‘Aal is well’ with the current governance system should have at least one such encounter with the government and it is sure to change their positions as surely as Narayan Murthy’s mind was changed about socialism when he was arrested for frivolous reasons in Bulgaria.
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